Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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