what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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