I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
soo... how was my night?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
