yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
My penis needs a shock collar
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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