I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So here I am, sexting at work.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
