his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
