She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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