i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
