Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
