Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
