Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Randomize
