Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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