There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
how does that bad decision feel?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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