He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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