so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
is it fun? or sober?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize