i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
