Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
