In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Randomize
