i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
