but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
My penis needs a shock collar
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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