How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
