I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
