after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Never let your siblings swipe right.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
