How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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