so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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