Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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