The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize