i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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