Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
there is glitter all over my balls
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