we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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