hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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