Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
