Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
