That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
