I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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