I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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