I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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