so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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