some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
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