Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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