she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
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