I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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