My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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