Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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