I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
