Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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