just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
