i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize