yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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