is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
