She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
