Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
