Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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