Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
