Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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