the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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