i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
