just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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