Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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