Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We're too hungover to prance.
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