Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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