but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I have aggressive nipples.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
