I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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