pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
