I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
