we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize